


Teh Bestest Johnlock EVUR

by PuzzlertheCoffeekat



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, DEM FEELS THO, Plot What Plot, Smexy Purple Shirt, Why Did I Write This?, You Have Been Warned, shameless crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 14:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1861737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuzzlertheCoffeekat/pseuds/PuzzlertheCoffeekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not to be taken seriously. Do not read. You've been warned…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teh Bestest Johnlock EVUR

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written by PuzzlerthePony and CrazyCoffeeKat
> 
> Disclaimer: We don't own Sherlock.

**_Da Best Wurk ov fanfikshun EVUR!1_ **

**_By SperkleKiwiRavenHeartRubyKawaiiDesu_ **

Wunce apond a time. There wuz a detective named Sherlick. He lived in londin and wuz a ditecktive and woer a very smexy purple shirt of SMEX.

There was also Jawn, who liffed wiff Shelock. He luved jam. He wuz also a dokter If you kno wut I meen.

So like, one dai, JAWN sees the detictive in his SMEXI SHIRT amd he thinks 'DAT IS ONE SMEXY-ASS SHHURT!1"

But Jawn 'zomgosh can't even jrklrmqrphl, lol…' so he goes and makes tea.

Sherlokc deductses that Jawhn likes his purple shit . So he flexes his very smexi arms and looks DEEP into into his sky-gray orbs as he leans in to give him teh tea

Then JAWN's eyes go all goggly and he spi;lls the tea onto the perple shirt of SMEX. "OH NOES" shercock cries in his smexii deep vioce. "NOW I HAS TO TAEK OFF MAI SHIRT"

Teh buttons fly in to Jawn's smexi troll face as he rips off his shirt in one fluid motion. Jawn's pupils grow very wide as he stairs at teh detective's musclular thin body.

"COME UPSTAIRS WIT ME, JAWN," sHercolk cries as the sun reflects off of his glistening white porcelain chest

"NO sherock WE CANT" he sez! "I AM ACTUALLY NOT GAY"

"YES YOU ARE" shemick whispers seductively, "SECRETLY."

(Mrs. Hudson agrees, from her spot by teh door..)

Shechulk tehn proceeds to take a large bucket of strawberry jam and pour it all over his steaming shirtless body.

Jawnz can no longer resist the detectives powerz of SEDUCTION.

"OKAI" he says, and leaned in closer. He cannot resist those multicolored cristal pools or teh jam that covured sherlog's beautiful skin.

They leans in closer and as their fourhedz touch Jawhn opens his eyes and-

* * *

John jolts awake suddenly, and his eyes fly open. He wipes a shaking hand through his sweat-drenched hair. "Just a dream…" he mutters hoarsely, still panting. After a moment he sinks back into his pillow, and shuts his eyes.

He nearly chokes as he feels a set of toes trailing down his leg. Very slowly, he looks over, only to see a very naked consulting detective in bed beside him.

"Is everything alright,  _Jawn_?"

This time, he screams.


End file.
